It is through Awareness that we Awaken
Sample: Live Online Webinar: Emotional Triggers and Integration
In the above webinar, I discuss Self-Regulation and the process of Feel, Reveal, and Heal. Self-Regulation is a conscious method that can be used to take full responsibility for our feelings. Self-Regulation brings us to neutrality.
Many of us have been conditioned to believe our painful or uncomfortable feelings are CAUSED by someone else. We tend to think someone or something in the outer world is hurting us or creating pain in our lives and that we do not have anything to do with causing these feelings.
During those times when we feel hurt, we believe someone else caused it. When we feel sad, angry, or frustrated we believe that someone else caused these feelings inside of us.
The problem with this belief is, it is simply not true. If we hold on to the false belief that someone else is responsible for our feelings, we deem ourselves helpless, hopeless, and powerless to resolve these feelings. We place ourselves at the mercy of staying stuck in the feeling until that same person who hurt us comes in to save us from the feelings. We are at the mercy of someone else to make us feel better. We helplessly give our power away to the person who hurt us or the person we think will be able to make us feel more comfortable with ourselves, help to alleviate the hurt, or create conditions so we can feel better.
The powerlessness comes in when we are waiting for the other to do what we want them to do, i.e. say I love you, I am sorry, take care of us, show concern, support us, understand us, reassure us, or be nurturing in some other way that will fulfill the need.
All the things we need to grant to ourselves first.
What are you doing while you are not in your power? You are handing your power over to another source or another person.
In order to help ourselves deal with our feelings, we need to first OWN and CLAIM these feelings as our own. In addition, we need to realize and become aware of the fact that these feelings are coming up from within US! Nothing to do with outside conditions or another person. All feelings come from within.
You need to understand NO ONE CAUSES US TO FEEL ANY PARTICULAR WAY. The way we feel is caused by and within us.
When we ALLOW ourselves to feel insecure, unworthy, invalidated, helpless, hurt, hopeless, bad, and powerless based on what another said or did, we are giving our power away because we place the responsibility for us to feel better on their actions.
Feelings of unworthiness, helplessness, inferiority, inadequacy, and insecurity to name a few are old wounds from our childhood experiences, our clouded perceptions, and inner beliefs about ourselves.
I am not saying another person cannot do something to hurt you. All I am saying is they did not cause the original wound….they are just fanning the flames of an old wound left behind festering from a traumatic event in childhood. It is your responsibility to go deeper to discover the root of your pain.
It is difficult to come to terms with the fact that in order to be whole and complete, we must take full ownership for our feelings.
No one has control over our feelings but us. It is only when we become keenly aware of our feelings by going deeper into them, acknowledging them, accepting them, honoring them, and loving them will we ever be able to move beyond them. This is how we identify and disrupt the patterns and find a NEW WAY to relate to our inner world. A way that will enable us to tolerate the painful and uncomfortable feelings in a whole new way. At the same time, we can begin to realize ALL feelings emerge from memories, programming, and patterns from the past that were not properly or fully processed.
The current situation is simply re-triggering these memories and patterns. Yes! It is happening for you not to you. Everything coming up wants to be healed. You must feel it to heal it. Once we understand that we are the only CREATORS OF OUR FEELINGS - we can begin to change our dynamic toward the feelings and acknowledge them.
At that point, we can begin the process of self-regulation and exercise the power to sit with each feeling until it is fully realized and dissolves. As soon as we go deeper into a feeling and even put the feelings into words, we will see that this feeling is coming from a child’s experience, a child’s mind. Going deeper into the feeling and reconstructing the feeling takes back the power the child-self gave away long ago. We realize that every time a painful feeling comes up, it is the body’s method of releasing lodged trauma in the cells which create energy blocks.
It all starts with taking OWNERSHIP OF AND RESPONSIBILITY for our feelings. It is only when we claim our own co-creation that our lives can begin to drastically transform.
Our “feeling states” come from our wounded inner child who is “running the show” and “acting out” 90 percent of the time. Through self-regulation we bring our feelings under our conscious awareness and activate our loving, healthy adult self so the inner child is not sabotaging our lives any longer.
We do this by going deeper into the feelings instead of habitually going to the outer world to point the finger in blame at someone or something else.
Living a life that is in conscious alignment with the Soul requires that we become aware of our fears. Fear will run your life by default if you push it down, ignore, avoid, or try to numb it. Fear is a important messenger that that must be acknowledged in order to move through it.
The Ego is Fear Based/The Soul is Love Centered
Any fear we are not willing to look at and acknowledge will run our life by default. When we are consumed by fear, our whole life becomes centered around perceiving that fear versus perceiving reality. Fear does this by sabotaging our relationships, inhibiting intimacy, destroying our financial security and limiting connection with our authentic self. Fear comes between our ability to live a fulfilling life because when we are in fear we are not living in conscious alignment with our Soul.
Fear hides the light of the Soul. Fear drives us to lead the same life over and over. Fear causes us to repeat the same patterns. Fear renders us powerless. What fear is driving your emotions? We want our Soul to be the driver in our life not our fear.
We are all born whole and complete. To get back to that place within ourselves, our authentic nature, we must accept and embrace all the human qualities we were born with. It is only when we love and accept these qualities within ourselves, both the "good" and "bad" qualities, that we can truly accept others without judgement and only then can we become whole again.
As children, our fear of not being loved and accepted caused us to hide certain aspects of our personality. As a means of survival, we settled into a safe place where we only behaved in acceptable ways to please others. We shut down parts of our true authentic nature to be approved of. By doing this early on, we suffer as adults. We find we are only living half a life. This is what prevents us from reaching our full potential and realizing our true purpose; our gifts, talents, and abilities.
All through our years of growing up, every traumatic event that occurred, every humiliation, every time we were shamed or made to feel guilty, we gave up another piece of our self. These unclaimed parts of us are what the Swiss Psychiatrist, Carl Jung, described as “the shadow.” The shadow holds the parts of ourselves that we would rather not be. These are the aspects of ourselves we hide or deny.
What is the Shadow?
When an aspect of oneself is denied, repressed, or hidden, its energy is strengthened and creates a dark side. It is exhausting and drains us of our vital life force energy when we are constantly trying to hold down the parts of ourselves we deny. By uncovering and accepting our shadow, we reveal the light of creativity, courage, power, and joy. These important aspects of self are required to assist us on our journey to wholeness and in becoming the authentic, soul embodied person we long to be.
Our shadow self consists of all the qualities considered unacceptable by the personality. All the qualities you think are not part of who you are. When these qualities are denied, they remain in the dark or the subconscious, but they lose power over us when we bring them into the light of consciousness. At that point, these aspects can be embraced and used for good because only then can their gifts be revealed. By acknowledging the shadow’s presence, we neutralize its potential negative impact on our lives. Acknowledging and reconciling these aspects of our self will fill the void within creating wholeness.
In discovering these aspects of ourselves, we release the restrictions that keep us from expressing ourselves freely. These aspects of ourselves are stuffed deep within our unconscious. When uncovered, the shadow can teach us things about ourselves that may have been deeply buried for years. The shadow is always pushing us in this direction. True peace and freedom are attained when we acknowledge, claim, and love our repressed qualities. This is the road to awakening. We are selling ourselves short by not claiming all of who we are. We cannot embrace what we are not willing to own. We cannot truly love others and have healthy relationships until we acknowledge our own self-hatred. We cannot truly be courageous, confident, and empowered unless we accept our insecurities and fears. We cannot truly embrace success until we admit our fear of failure.
Owning is an essential step in healing and creating a life we love. To manifest our full potential, we must reclaim the parts of our self that we have denied, hidden, or given away to others. This work is deep and powerful. It is an act of true self love–a gift we give to ourselves.
Learn to make peace with and embrace your authentic nature by discovering those parts of yourself you are denying. With this one action, you will transform your internal suffering, heal your relationships, and restore your health.
Shadow Integration addresses the following issues:
Many of us have been conditioned to believe our painful or uncomfortable feelings are CAUSED by someone else. We tend to think someone or something in the outer world is hurting us or creating pain in our lives and that we do not have anything to do with causing these feelings.
During those times when we feel hurt, we believe someone else caused it. When we feel sad, angry, or frustrated we believe that someone else caused these feelings inside of us.
The problem with this belief is, it is simply not true. If we hold on to the false belief that someone else is responsible for our feelings, we deem ourselves helpless, hopeless, and powerless to resolve these feelings. We place ourselves at the mercy of staying stuck in the feeling until that same person who hurt us comes in to save us from the feelings. We are at the mercy of someone else to make us feel better. We helplessly give our power away to the person who hurt us or the person we think will be able to make us feel more comfortable with ourselves, help to alleviate the hurt, or create conditions so we can feel better.
The powerlessness comes in when we are waiting for the other to do what we want them to do, i.e. say I love you, I am sorry, take care of us, show concern, support us, understand us, reassure us, or be nurturing in some other way that will fulfill the need.
All the things we need to grant to ourselves first.
What are you doing while you are not in your power? You are handing your power over to another source or another person.
In order to help ourselves deal with our feelings, we need to first OWN and CLAIM these feelings as our own. In addition, we need to realize and become aware of the fact that these feelings are coming up from within US! Nothing to do with outside conditions or another person. All feelings come from within.
You need to understand NO ONE CAUSES US TO FEEL ANY PARTICULAR WAY. The way we feel is caused by and within us.
When we ALLOW ourselves to feel insecure, unworthy, invalidated, helpless, hurt, hopeless, bad, and powerless based on what another said or did, we are giving our power away because we place the responsibility for us to feel better on their actions.
Feelings of unworthiness, helplessness, inferiority, inadequacy, and insecurity to name a few are old wounds from our childhood experiences, our clouded perceptions, and inner beliefs about ourselves.
I am not saying another person cannot do something to hurt you. All I am saying is they did not cause the original wound….they are just fanning the flames of an old wound left behind festering from a traumatic event in childhood. It is your responsibility to go deeper to discover the root of your pain.
It is difficult to come to terms with the fact that in order to be whole and complete, we must take full ownership for our feelings.
No one has control over our feelings but us. It is only when we become keenly aware of our feelings by going deeper into them, acknowledging them, accepting them, honoring them, and loving them will we ever be able to move beyond them. This is how we identify and disrupt the patterns and find a NEW WAY to relate to our inner world. A way that will enable us to tolerate the painful and uncomfortable feelings in a whole new way. At the same time, we can begin to realize ALL feelings emerge from memories, programming, and patterns from the past that were not properly or fully processed.
The current situation is simply re-triggering these memories and patterns. Yes! It is happening for you not to you. Everything coming up wants to be healed. You must feel it to heal it. Once we understand that we are the only CREATORS OF OUR FEELINGS - we can begin to change our dynamic toward the feelings and acknowledge them.
At that point, we can begin the process of self-regulation and exercise the power to sit with each feeling until it is fully realized and dissolves. As soon as we go deeper into a feeling and even put the feelings into words, we will see that this feeling is coming from a child’s experience, a child’s mind. Going deeper into the feeling and reconstructing the feeling takes back the power the child-self gave away long ago. We realize that every time a painful feeling comes up, it is the body’s method of releasing lodged trauma in the cells which create energy blocks.
It all starts with taking OWNERSHIP OF AND RESPONSIBILITY for our feelings. It is only when we claim our own co-creation that our lives can begin to drastically transform.
Our “feeling states” come from our wounded inner child who is “running the show” and “acting out” 90 percent of the time. Through self-regulation we bring our feelings under our conscious awareness and activate our loving, healthy adult self so the inner child is not sabotaging our lives any longer.
We do this by going deeper into the feelings instead of habitually going to the outer world to point the finger in blame at someone or something else.
Living a life that is in conscious alignment with the Soul requires that we become aware of our fears. Fear will run your life by default if you push it down, ignore, avoid, or try to numb it. Fear is a important messenger that that must be acknowledged in order to move through it.
The Ego is Fear Based/The Soul is Love Centered
Any fear we are not willing to look at and acknowledge will run our life by default. When we are consumed by fear, our whole life becomes centered around perceiving that fear versus perceiving reality. Fear does this by sabotaging our relationships, inhibiting intimacy, destroying our financial security and limiting connection with our authentic self. Fear comes between our ability to live a fulfilling life because when we are in fear we are not living in conscious alignment with our Soul.
Fear hides the light of the Soul. Fear drives us to lead the same life over and over. Fear causes us to repeat the same patterns. Fear renders us powerless. What fear is driving your emotions? We want our Soul to be the driver in our life not our fear.
We are all born whole and complete. To get back to that place within ourselves, our authentic nature, we must accept and embrace all the human qualities we were born with. It is only when we love and accept these qualities within ourselves, both the "good" and "bad" qualities, that we can truly accept others without judgement and only then can we become whole again.
As children, our fear of not being loved and accepted caused us to hide certain aspects of our personality. As a means of survival, we settled into a safe place where we only behaved in acceptable ways to please others. We shut down parts of our true authentic nature to be approved of. By doing this early on, we suffer as adults. We find we are only living half a life. This is what prevents us from reaching our full potential and realizing our true purpose; our gifts, talents, and abilities.
All through our years of growing up, every traumatic event that occurred, every humiliation, every time we were shamed or made to feel guilty, we gave up another piece of our self. These unclaimed parts of us are what the Swiss Psychiatrist, Carl Jung, described as “the shadow.” The shadow holds the parts of ourselves that we would rather not be. These are the aspects of ourselves we hide or deny.
What is the Shadow?
When an aspect of oneself is denied, repressed, or hidden, its energy is strengthened and creates a dark side. It is exhausting and drains us of our vital life force energy when we are constantly trying to hold down the parts of ourselves we deny. By uncovering and accepting our shadow, we reveal the light of creativity, courage, power, and joy. These important aspects of self are required to assist us on our journey to wholeness and in becoming the authentic, soul embodied person we long to be.
Our shadow self consists of all the qualities considered unacceptable by the personality. All the qualities you think are not part of who you are. When these qualities are denied, they remain in the dark or the subconscious, but they lose power over us when we bring them into the light of consciousness. At that point, these aspects can be embraced and used for good because only then can their gifts be revealed. By acknowledging the shadow’s presence, we neutralize its potential negative impact on our lives. Acknowledging and reconciling these aspects of our self will fill the void within creating wholeness.
In discovering these aspects of ourselves, we release the restrictions that keep us from expressing ourselves freely. These aspects of ourselves are stuffed deep within our unconscious. When uncovered, the shadow can teach us things about ourselves that may have been deeply buried for years. The shadow is always pushing us in this direction. True peace and freedom are attained when we acknowledge, claim, and love our repressed qualities. This is the road to awakening. We are selling ourselves short by not claiming all of who we are. We cannot embrace what we are not willing to own. We cannot truly love others and have healthy relationships until we acknowledge our own self-hatred. We cannot truly be courageous, confident, and empowered unless we accept our insecurities and fears. We cannot truly embrace success until we admit our fear of failure.
Owning is an essential step in healing and creating a life we love. To manifest our full potential, we must reclaim the parts of our self that we have denied, hidden, or given away to others. This work is deep and powerful. It is an act of true self love–a gift we give to ourselves.
Learn to make peace with and embrace your authentic nature by discovering those parts of yourself you are denying. With this one action, you will transform your internal suffering, heal your relationships, and restore your health.
Shadow Integration addresses the following issues:
- Anxiety, Panic and Fear
- Depression / Apathy
- Coping with Illness
- Procrastination
- Addiction to Suffering
- Painful Emotions
- Self-Sabotage
- Relationship Issues
- Spiritual Bypassing
- Present Moment Awareness
- Prolonged Guilt and Shame
- Fear of Failure / Success
- Toxic Emotions
- Childhood Trauma
- Denial
- Loneliness
- Resistance
- Uncovering Unconscious Patterns
- False and Limiting Beliefs
- Anger / Rage
- Toxic Emotions
- Unmet Needs
- Self-Abandonment / Rejection
- Insecurity
- Unworthiness
- Intimacy Inhibitions