Ultimately, one wants to be guided by the Soul or Monad (the Soul family) and not run by the personality. To be the master of your thoughts and emotions means not denying you have a negative thought or negative emotion, but recognizing them for what they are just thoughts and emotions. By not taking them on, buying into them, and allowing them to run you, you transcend them.
There is nothing “wrong” or “bad” about crying when you’re sad, hurt, or lonely. The key is to acknowledge the pain or the suffering and step out of it, see it from a larger perspective. Look at the entire situation from the perspective of your Soul. We are able to transcend painful emotions when we recognize that they are created in the mind and not due to anything going on in the outside world. Perception is the key. We have been given the ability to reason and free will to decide how we choose to perceive any situation at any moment.
A trap many face on the spiritual journey is denying our thoughts and feelings. When we get to the point where we know that a negative thought or a negative emotion will create further pain and suffering, we either beat ourselves up for having them or we try to stuff those thoughts and feelings down saying they are “bad” or “I don’t want to feel that way. Stuffing down the negative thoughts and feelings is like pouring toxic chemicals into your body.
Eventually those feelings will fester and develop into anger. Anger turned inward becomes depression or illness.
In order to transcend negative thoughts and emotions, we must acknowledge them, give them value and the attention they deserve and crave. They are bubbling up from a place of wounding that is begging to be healed. Unconditional love for oneself means recognizing and loving all aspects of our self, just like the Divine unconditionally loves all aspects of us, the “good” and the “bad”. Once we have unconditional love and compassion for ourselves, we can in turn truly have unconditional love and compassion for others, but it starts with ourselves.
Perceiving ourselves from the viewpoint of our Soul allows us freedom from judgment. When we stop judging ourselves, we will stop judging everyone, and we will stop judging life as “bad” or “good” and just see life for what it is; a place for the evolution of our Soul. We are not our mind. We are not our personality. We have never been victims nor will be ever be victims. It is all about perception. Use life as a catalyst for the evolution of your Soul.
Every lesson, every trauma, every pain is a new step on the ladder towards growth and new chance to strengthen, empower, and become the master of your experience. View every experience as a blessing in disguise; welcome it in as if you chose it. Eventually the negative thought will arise; you will be able to see it for what it is and not buy into it. Feelings will not follow it because you will be alert enough to transcend it and maybe even laugh at it. At that point, your outer world will begin to reflect your inner world, which will be peaceful and harmonious.